Devil’s Deal

Daunting dreams and images
Revolving in my head
Memories or nightmares
Things I often dread

It creeps up from my ignorance
The bliss in which I swim
And hits me like a ton of bricks
Then tears me limb from limb

The choking sobs, unending thoughts
Things of past and future
I cannot undo one or prevent the other
So where to find my suture?

Sometimes so confident
It seems unreal
The next moment panic
The devils deal

You want your cake
And to eat it too? 
Then here’s the trap
I’ve laid for you

Happiness comes at a cost
Your writers block will begin
When ignorance takes over
And in bliss, again, you swim.

So the darkness never goes too far
Nor I too far from it
For on these lonely nights of anguish
It’s there my passions’ lit

Articulating sweet release
I am in a trance
Cold but oh so genuine
In darkness free to dance

I suppose some time ago I chose
The heartache was worth the cost
For here I sit, fulfilled again
Regardless of what I’ve lost

Forgive me for my selfish choice
This is what I was born to do;
I cannot give myself fully to this
If I give any of this to you.

T
© 2010