Drive

I took a drive today
A drive I did not plan to take
Hot tears streaming down my face
They sting but that’s ok
I’ll take my lashes

I meant to turn for home
But my foot stayed on the gas
Stayed on the highway
Listening to eerie, aching tunes
The song changed to a happy one
I snapped out of my highway daze
Changed it back to something sad

I’m in a toxic mood
And wish to soak in poison
Do not tell me what to do
Do not try to change this

The tears dry up, so I take the exit
Drive toward that big rock
In the middle of no where
Isolated, cold – we know each other
At least, tonight

It’s been a while, since it was like this
Since I found myself in feeling lost
Reassessed the meaningless things
That have taken on too much meaning

It’s been a while since I broke my heart
To make sure it’s still beating
And though the pain reminds me I’m alive
I’m thankful it won’t last…though I need it
At least, tonight

The constant worry that I’m crazy
That I’m really not the same
This is what defeats me
And that there is no cure
And that sometimes I can’t hide it

Fields of white around me now
The skies are dark, above
Stars poke out, more as I keep staring
I’m breathing slower
This feels like home

So much space around
For many, many miles
Who am I? Insignificant
But this is good. Less pressure.

The knots in my stomach untangle
I close my eyes and breathe some more
It’s time to head home now.
Time to try again.

T